Your Gender Has Nothing To Do With Gaming

So, story time:
Last night, I was playing Guild Wars 2 with three of my guildies; We had just run our Fractal daily and then up to level 13 with some pugs. Afterwards, we were selling things, putting things into the bank and just taking a break in general in an Lion's Arch overflow (our server, Tarnished Coast, is quite busy). I was milling around in the bank, putting some things into my personal storage and our guild storage (we're collecting yellow swords and greatswords for forge food) when someone called out in /say:

"LF innocent girl that has no other sexual partner to compare me to."

At first, I thought nothing of this and just went along what I was doing. Typically when I have something to say, I end up getting a dickish response no matter how nice I'm trying to be, and besides, I had nothing to say to this. Some people were going "Lol" in chat, etc. But then, the person went into /map and started saying:

"LF innocent girl that has no other sexual partner to compare me to."

To which a person responded:

"Are there even any girls online?"

At this point, I simply made a face in chat ("o.o") as well as someone above me! They messaged me quickly and asked if I was indeed a girl. I laughed and responded yeah, and was curious to see where this mapchat was going, but I already had a feeling. The first person that said the "LF innocent girl" goes:

"Girls don't play video games, especially not GW2."

Alright. Normally I just turn off chat at this kind of stuff, usually they're trolls. But I couldn't. I hate this mentality and behaviour more than anything in video game communities, large or small. These couple of people started saying that playing video games lowered our femininity, and it made us less appealing (I think my bf of two years would disagree.) The other girl who had messaged me, Tempest (not full char name), went:

"Yeah, because us girls really don't like video games, and we totally need a big strong man to be in our lives to prove our femininity!"

Some people started chirping that her and I were liars, as we had said that we were indeed girls, and we definitely were playing. Players started saying we should be in bed so we could wake up to make our men sandwiches and breakfast in the morning, or that we should be "trained" to do certain sexual favours for them without being asked (Really?). At this point, my guildies were trying to get me to leave the OF and go somewhere else, but I told them no, I had to duke this one out. Tempest and I became more and more sarcastic and blunt, saying that it was our boyfriends who made us sandwiches (which is true, my bf does make me lunch but that's usually when we're gaming together; well, fancy that GW2 jerks!).

As this started to escalate, and we started to point out that these guys were probably lonely, whiny teenage boys who haven't had a girlfriend yet, or absolutely need the physical contact. My guildmate (and irl friend) started to get involved, backing me up by saying that I was indeed a girl. The first person started saying I probably haven't accomplished anything yet, to which I responded, "I'm a guild leader, and I have two level eighties in full exotics w/ weapons and ascended gear while taking my degree."

Then, it took an ugly turn. The first person said:

"No means yes, and yes means..."

Which resulted in the people who were on this guy's side to turn and go, "too far."

I won't comment. That was where I called them a rapist & a sexist, and hopped off to Caledon to run TA. We brought Tempest along, and we all got along really well. She even admitted to having like, five level 80s. I made a friend out of it, at least. My guildie who had got involved stuck around, and I guess this guy started asking him if I was hot irl. Thankfully, he didn't comment and came to the dungeon shortly after.

What I'm trying to say is:

It's 2013. Why do people still get their panties in a twist about what gender you are? Someone in the above scenario (which lasted well over 20min, that was just the semi tl;dr version!) even said, "What does it matter?  Gender does not define the gamer." AND IT IS TOTALLY TRUE. 

Yes, there are girls out there who make it a thing to pick up guys, or to seek attention. Yes, there are pretty girls who play games. Yes, some of us have boyfriends (or girlfriends, what have you! :) and go to school, and have jobs, and have a life outside of the gaming sphere. 

What happened reminded me of a time I was at work with my best friend, and our coworker at the time asked us what we liked to do in our spare time. We admitted that we enjoyed playing video games, and that we had actually met online through a game and have been close ever since. Her response? "Pretty girls shouldn't be playing video games."

Look, what the hell do you want us to do then? Sit in coffee shops all day? Shop? Sit all prim and proper and do nothing? (This is what her tone conveyed, not saying that this is what non-gamer girls do)

Gender does not:

- Define how good or bad you are at a game. 

- Make you a liar in any way. 
- Tell you what games you can/should play, and can't/shouldn't.

And it happens all the time, too. Not just MMO's like Guild Wars 2, but in MOBAS like LoL and HoN, RTS games like Starcraft 2, FPS games like Halo and L4D2/TF2 (worst experience to date!). Like, really? Are you that mad/threatened that the person who got more kills than you or has more level 80s than you is a girl? 

I went through a phase once where I actually told people I didn't game; I left it out of conversation. I turned my Steam tag into other things, took my gender off profiles, or simply avoided to communicating with team members. Being a girl in gaming communities got so bad that I was being kicked from groups in L4D2 before the game even started because "We don't need a stupid girl on our team." Sorry, are you threatened I might actually be good at that game? (spoiler alert: I am! Story alert: it's how my bf and I bonded before we made it official!) At the end of that phase, I learned: DO NOT HIDE WHO YOU ARE!! Be proud of yourself, and your interests, and stand up for yourself too! 

That's why I didn't leave the overflow yesterday, because I wasn't going to let someone chase me away with kitchen and sex jokes. And sometimes, you might find a friend in the crowd (Like Tempest! Who's the sweetest thing.). Just remember, gender doesn't define the gamer, folks, and neither do assholes who try to make you think that it does.

that felt good to get off my chest.